


Letter

by creativwritingmind



Series: Two [16]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Friendship, Other, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 13:01:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9182908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativwritingmind/pseuds/creativwritingmind





	

Dear Josh!

There are good and bad days. Today is one of the worst. I don't have to tell you why, you know already it's your birthday...and that we again have to spend it appart from each other is a new level of torture to me. 

I bought you a present though, something you would have been excited about with no end. It's small and fluffy and has ears and paws...I named her Spooky. Yes, I know, it's not a propper name for a kittie girl, but it reminds me of you and I need things to remind me a lot at the moment.

It's been some time now, three years to be specific, and I promise I still try not to let a single memory of you slip out of my mind...but it's starting, I can feel it, no matter how hard I fight...I'm starting to forget you. It's the little things, the one's I never really recognised fully aware, the one's that were just natural to me. Like...I can't remember the way you smelled. I can tell what your clothes smelled like when they were washed, of course, I still keep them, but I can't grap the smell that was you. It's gone, subsided between all the smells this world throws at me daily.

I can't remember what your freckles looked like when I drew patterns on your back. I once knew the position of every one of them...now I can't even tell how many there were anymore. 

The worst thing is I keep forgetting your voice. I hear it everyday, inside my head, at least that is what I thought. But every time I dial that number to your god damn phone just to listen to the text you spoke on the answering machine I learn that I start to change it slightly, that I loose knowledge of it just because it doesn't reach my ears anymore, is only living inside of myself.

The beat of your heart...it has been a home to me. I lost it's pattern. I can't find it's melody, everything has gone silent. 

Joshua...I've really tried...I tried so hard not to forget you, but I'm so weak, I'm so broken and I can't make you stay any longer. We lost everything we had, friend...we lost our sucess, lost our loves and in the very end we lost us. I can only hope you understand that I need to move on...it's the only thing I can do beside of killing myself and it's not granted I won't choose that way sooner or later...but there's something I need to stay alive for.

She called me yesterday, after three months of no contact at all. Of course there was a point she couldn't take it anymore and I understand...she deserves so much better then this, then someone like me. I just wish she had left me sooner, before our DNA's melted and created a new life, a new mind, ready to enter this world. I'm going to be a father Josh. I'll have to step up, to be stronger then I ever was, to finally win over all my demons. 

There will be a time I will tell her or him about you. We will sit together and I will show them how much you meant to me and this world, I will let you come alive again. But for now I need to let you go, be as dead as the body they told me were you. 

I hope someday you'll be able to forgive me. I'm sorry. 

Tyler


End file.
